Why Not Me

NHM 

INSERT #1 

@NADYNEZWORLDROCKS

This insert is from my soon to be published Book titled Why Not Me.

A small thank you to my faithful followers!

Love you 

I sat there is disbelief, I couldn't cry I couldn't yell, honestly what could I say. My love was telling me I could change the odds, we could make a miracle but I was wrong. The doctor put the quarter on the table and uttered the words, this is the part of her brain they didn't destroy. At first I sat there numb but as a mom I had to respond and ask every question but before I could his words sent ice down my spine and crippled my ability to speak. He said that means that her ability to breath wasn't compromised, she won't walk or talk, she won't do much of anything. I could tell you that a part of me died that day but that would be a lie. At that moment I had one goal PROVE THEM WRONG. 

He said she wouldn't make it to 1 year of age boy was he wrong! You see love is stronger than opinions, stronger than medical malpractice! I know because I lived it. 

Every doctor I met told me that I should institutionalize her, I was only 16 my life would be over. That was never an option. I carried her I gave birth to her Id raise her as long as God allowed me! I held her that day and promised her that our life would be extraordinary, she'd wear the best, she'd live a happy life, I would protect her, fight for her and if only for one year I would make it the best year we ever had. I also made a secret pact with myself, my pain was immense I was facing the biggest challenge I could imagine. My daydreams of being a mommy never included this. I saw her running in the park, saying mommy I love you, I envisioned things I'd never get prior to this moment but it didn't matter nothing did except my princess Sade!  I told myself the moment she takes her last breath I will take mine, I could not imagine life without her and I only knew her two weeks. She was the love of my life, her eyes pierced into my soul the first moment I held her, a love like that changes a person. How could this have happen anyway? I didn't do drugs, I took all my vitamins, I never missed an appointment, what happened, Why me? 

I sat there literally in disbelief, grief is an understatement but when I walked out of that room I kept my composure the best I could and went to my baby, I kissed her as much as I could and watched her resting. I kissed her toes first, then her little legs, I kissed her belly, then my favorite place of all her cheek, I inhaled her beauty, as the tears burned my cheeks I knew that moment that my life would never be the same. This little miracle, this tiny little piece of Gods loving kindness was all mines, to care for to fight for, to live for! A mom is never prepared to feel this level of fear but love makes us fearless, love can lift a mountain and crumble it with bare hands if need be. I was determined to prove that a 16 year old could be the best mother and Sade made that possible. She made everything possible! I loved her more than I loved myself, I don't know if there are words to describe what I feel at the thought of her, I can just say that I could never be a mom twice, because just this once I was so overwhelmed with love, pain and anger that it was almost impossible to contain. There is no possible way I could do this twice because all I needed was this once to know what the true definition of love was! Until this very moment I have never felt a love like this! Sade was and will forever be the definition of Me!

                                                                        1

STAY TUNED TO FUTURE INSERTS AND WHY NOT ME BING PUBLISHED IN 2014

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT!

I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL!

NHM 

@NADYNEZWORLDROCKS

THE QUEEN OF BLOGGING